Are You Repeating Your Parents’ Mistakes? Unpacking Bowen Family Theory | Fr. Bonaventure Chapman & Fr. Joseph-Anthony Kress
December 18, 2025
The Bowen Family Systems Theory
This podcast episode of Godsplaining explores Bowen Family Systems Theory and how patterns formed in our families of origin quietly shape our adult relationships, emotional reactions, and decisions. Fr. Bonaventure Chapman and Fr. Joseph-Anthony Kress explain how families function as emotional systems rather than collections of isolated individuals, meaning anxiety, habits, and coping strategies are often shared and passed down across generations.
More on the Bowen Family Systems Theory
What is the Bowen Family Systems Theory?
Bowen Family Systems Theory explains human behavior by viewing the family as an interconnected emotional system rather than focusing on individuals alone. It shows how patterns of anxiety, relationships, and behavior are passed down through generations and influence how people react to stress and conflict. Central to the theory is differentiation of self, or the ability to stay emotionally connected while thinking and acting according to one’s values, which allows individuals to break unhealthy family patterns and respond with greater freedom and maturity.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do people repeat their parents’ mistakes?
Bowen theory suggests patterns of thinking and reacting are passed down through families. If someone hasn’t differentiated themselves emotionally from their family’s anxieties, they’re likely to repeat similar behaviors or responses in their own life.
What is a “triangle” in family systems theory?
When two people in a relationship experience stress or conflict, they often involve a third person to manage the emotional tension. This is called a triangle and can keep unhealthy patterns going.
Can you change these family patterns?
Yes. Awareness of these patterns and working toward greater emotional differentiation helps you make conscious choices rather than unconsciously reenacting family dynamics.